Beep beep boop
Today’s entry concerns Turkey (the country), hackers, robots, and how to spot all three.
According to a news article I just read, Photobucket recently came under attack by a Turkish hacker, and thus stopped showing up up for a portion of people. Unfortunately, this portion included me. Fortunately, it recently came back online.
Why is it that every time I seem to hear about a website being hacked it’s always by dudes in Turkey? I’ve never been to Turkey, but the way it seems that all the big hackers come from there, I’d imagine it as some sort of place where everything is all chrome and machiney with Androids everywhere. It’s where all the scary robots from movies come from; HAL9000, Skynet, etc. It’s like Coruscant from the Star Wars prequels, only evil! Evil, evil, EVIL!
The prime minister of Turkey
Worst of all, it is where the massive organization of hackers come from. As is revealed by the fresh stream of pure logic that is my imagination, they must be more than human to be so powerful and organized. Indeed, the Turkish hackers are cyborgs!
But what are we to do about this? We are mere flesh beings with small minds going up against people whose brains likely link up to the internet. The time to act is now, before our robotic enemies destroy any more of our beloved websites!
Photobucket was an easy target because it was well-known and people could upload a lot of stuff to it with ease. If you have a website or message board in which anyone can join or upload stuff, or if you’re simply talking to someone on the street, you may be able to tell if people are robot hackers with these tips!
1) Most machine names end with numbers and feature many capital letters, IE: HAL9000 and T100. Be careful around people with usernames such as these, especially if the number is replaced with an X. X’s signify extremely advanced models.
2) If you communicate with someone suspicious, be on the lookout for these words:
Acquire
Activate
Affirmitive
Annihilate
Connect
Critical
Deploy
Exterminate
Error
Malfunction
<something> Mode
Negative
Neutralize
Operate
Sarah Connor
Target
Terminate
These words are common in the vocabulary of cyborgs.
3) Cyborg Hackers tend to have an uplink to the internet. Try pop-quizzing them on random subjects that most people would not know. They will likely look up the answer in their super-computer brains and be able to tell it to you fairly quickly.
4) Cyborg hackers are evil. If the person you are communicating with is evil, you should blow them up (that’s one of the most effective ways to kill machines aside from pools molten metal, and pools of molten metal are pretty hard to come across these days). This also goes for people who go out of their way to tell you that they are “evil”. God, they’re so annoying.
No need to thank me. I’m just doing my duty to defend the human race. That’s Krakenzilla’s internet blog, protecting the internet from cyber-hackers when it’s convenient! Next week, I whine about something or other as though there’s someone listening. Have a good night, and don’t trust things with glowing red eyes.
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Yahoo Answers, and so do I « When I’m Bored said this on July 14, 2009 at 5:04 am |